Check out my guest post on best-selling author Mia Kerick’s blog about how bullying has become institutionalized in America. You might find it enlightening or it might make you angry. Truth can do both.
“What is Normal?” – Guest Post From Author Mia Kerick
Mia Kerick is a best-selling author I had heard a lot about on Facebook, and our paths often crossed in commenting on the same pictures or articles. As she points out below, because I saw her name so often I thought we were already FB friends and was startled when she sent me a friend request and I realized we were not. That has been corrected, much to my delight. She is an amazing lady filled with compassion, boundless energy, enthusiasm, the ability to multi-task so well that I’m envious, and she’s a terrific and successful writer.
To celebrate the unfurling of her newest, and already a best-seller, book for young adults, The Red Sheet, I offered to host Mia on my blog because she and I are very much on the same page. Be sure to check out the links to her book and (YES!) there are giveaways at the rafflecopter link. I have not yet read The Red Sheet, but it is on order and I will dig in as soon as it arrives.
Mia’s post is about the definition of “normal,” a subject I address in my own trilogy of books that began with Children of the Knight. I’m going to add my own little spin to what she said and then you will hear from this great lady yourself. Having worked with special education students for most of my life, and being one myself in the sense that I have always been hearing impaired, I sought to make a distinction for my kids. They always felt abnormal, as did the gay kids I worked with in the Gay Straight Alliance, because people kept telling them that, often their own parents, siblings, or relatives. I would tell them to keep this in mind: people who are hard of hearing or visually impaired or gay or learning disabled or physically disabled or whatever are not “the norm” in life because “the norm” would be considered what is standard or typical. But they, and myself, are completely normal because these things are part of how we were born and are thus “normal.” Everyone one of us is normal because every human being is unique and special, even the ones who think they are perfect because they fit the arbitrary “norms” society has created. The bottom line is, people need to stop trying to make everyone exactly like them and accept inherent differentiations from “the norm” as normal. There, that’s my little soapbox to piggyback on Mia’s post. So without further adieu, I bring you the one, the only, the magical Mia Kerick! Yea!
Hello and thanks for inviting me over…
I recently “met” Michael Bowler during a Facebook conversation about YA books. I must admit, I tried to tag him and I couldn’t. We weren’t friends! Well, not in the FB “official” sense of the word, which came as a surprise to me. We quickly remedied the not-friends thing, and since then we have very quickly come to be real friends. We certainly have a lot to talk about.
So I would like to thank Michael for allowing me to post on his blog, and I don’t think he’ll be too surprised by what I say.
Anybody have a soapbox I can stand on? I think I’m gonna need one.
What makes something seem “normal” to us? Well, first of all, let’s take a look at the word “normal”. (I love examining definitions!)
For the most part, I trust Merriam-Webster, do you?
Here’s what MW had to say:
1nor•mal adjective ˈnȯr-məl
: usual or ordinary : not strange
: mentally and physically healthy
Synonyms can tell you a lot about a word’s meaning. Here is Merriam-Webster’s list of synonyms for the word normal:
average, common, commonplace, cut-and-dried (also cut-and-dry), everyday
But do you want to know what can tell you even MORE about a word? What it is not. In other words, a word’s antonyms. (Also very informative!)
MW’s list of antonyms for the word normal:
abnormal, exceptional, extraordinary, odd, out-of-the-way, strange, unusual
And these “Near Antonyms” further illustrate the point I plan to make:
Near antonyms for the word normal include:
curious, funny, peculiar, quaint, queer; aberrant, anomalous, atypical, irregular, untypical; rare, recherché, scarce; fantastic (also fantastical), phenomenal; bizarre, far-out, Kafkaesque, outrageous, outré, wacky (also whacky), way-out, weird, wild; eccentric, idiosyncratic, kooky (also kookie), nonconformist, oddball, offbeat, unconventional, unorthodox; freak, freakish
There were a lot more…
So, can we agree for the sake of argument that the word normal refers to that which is usual? That which is ordinary? Something that is not strange. And for something to be considered ordinary, we must see it a lot. Cheeseburgers are ordinary. You can get one (or two-who’s counting?) at every fast food store and cookout you attend. You never stop and stare when you see a guy eating a burger. It is NOT a strange sight; you see it every day.
But chowing down on a Witchetty grub? I can tell you this much: if you stand on the corner of Main and Maple streets, and sink your teeth into an oversized, juicy white moth larvae, you might solicit some strange looks. A fair amount of staring would be directed your way. Let’s admit it: in the United States of America the consumption of Witchetty grubs is unusual. Bordering on peculiar.
Dare I say abnormal? Yes, I dare. Eating grubs is abnormal behavior in our neck of the woods.
SO now that we have a working definition of the word normal, let’s apply it to an important topic: relationships. What constitutes a conventional romantic relationship? A normal, ordinary, garden-variety love affair… We should start with a boy and a girl, right? You see standard M/F couples like this absolutely everywhere in real life—and also in fiction—including in movies, television, books. The more you see and read about the boy and the girl—entwined on a hammock, holding hands on a beach, kissing on a sidewalk—the more commonplace it becomes. So normal.
Let’s, for today’s purposes, focus on reading material, though. Would it be fair to say that almost every time we crack open a book, from the age of infancy (“that’s a mommy and that’s a daddy”) to school age (Fun with Dick and Jane) to high school (much less fun with Romeo and Juliet) to YA parent-approved free reading books (Twilight’s Edward and Bella), all kids see is the “conventional” male-female couple. And thus, this pairing becomes “normal” to us. Usual. And somehow, usual morphs into acceptable.
Now, I don’t know about you, but I never came across two boys kissing in any of my middle school English literature books. I never had the option of choosing a novel about a girl discovering her feelings of attraction to other girls in my high school summer reading book options. Were there books covering those topics? I didn’t know. I never thought of that. I never thought of them. “Them” being gay and lesbian young people. Bisexuals and transgenders? Huh? Books about trans-what certainly weren’t on the Young Adult shelf of my local town library.
I never read about these kinds of relationships. Seeing a gay couple, up-close, live and in-person was rare for me, as well as for most of the kids I knew. Reading about them in any of the literature to which I had access was practically unheard of. It is not a very far leap from rare and unheard of to weird and strange. And from weird and strange, it is a mere hop, skip, and jump to abnormal.
I have illustrated that due to the fact that preteens and teens rarely have exposure to LGBT young adults and their love relationships, it has become widely considered NOT NORMAL to be LGBT and in a same-sex relationship. (Hold the applause… there’s more.)
NOT NORMAL= odd, bizarre, funny, aberrant, freakish. Hmm….
Now, just say you are an LGBT young adult. How does feeling peculiar, weird, and abnormal—simply for being who you were born to be—affect your emotional growth and development? Your ability to form relationships with friends as well as with possible romantic partners? Not positively, I’d wager. People who feel weird and abnormal tend to hide or act out because being who they are is, in its very essence, wrong.
Next, say you are not an LGBT young adult. When you see a student you suspect is gay, or a gay couple, how do you react? Well, you stop and stare, never having had much exposure to this unconventional type. You giggle because it is funny and peculiar. You become uncomfortable because what you see in this person or couple is freakish. Because this sight is not NORMAL to you.
See where I’m going with this?
For something to be normal to us, we must be exposed to it. We must allow our youth to be exposed to it. We, as adults, must offer to young adults a wide range of fiction and nonfiction, showing protagonists and heroes, lovers and friends, saints and sinners, lovers and enemies, in all of the sexual diversity that exists in the real world.
We must integrate LGBT literature into Young Adult literature.
Mainstream LGBT literature in school and libraries and everywhere.
Because LGBT IS normal.
One October morning, high school junior Bryan Dennison wakes up a different person—helpful, generous, and chivalrous—a person whose new admirable qualities he doesn’t recognize. Stranger still is the urge to tie a red sheet around his neck like a cape.
Bryan soon realizes this compulsion to wear a red cape is accompanied by more unusual behavior. He can’t hold back from retrieving kittens from tall trees, helping little old ladies cross busy streets, and defending innocence anywhere he finds it.
Shockingly, at school, he realizes he used to be a bully. He’s attracted to the former victim of his bullying, Scott Beckett, though he has no memory of Scott from before “the change.” Where he’d been lazy in academics, overly aggressive in sports, and socially insecure, he’s a new person. And although he can recall behaving egotistically, he cannot remember his motivations.
Everyone, from his mother to his teachers to his “superjock” former pals, is shocked by his dramatic transformation. However, Scott Beckett is not impressed by Bryan’s newfound virtue. And convincing Scott he’s genuinely changed and improved, hopefully gaining Scott’s trust and maybe even his love, becomes Bryan’s obsession.
With a foreword by C. Kennedy
Book Links:
Excerpt:
I was back to being the very same guy I had been before the change—
insecure, lazy, selfish, uncharitable—
a guy I didn’t like….
and a guy I didn’t want to be….
but here he was again.
Looking at the world with his frightened and egotistical eyes.
And that’s when it hit me. I popped up off my bed and walked rather hurriedly over to the dresser. I gazed into the mirror that hung above it, and I saw Bryan Dennison.
I reached out my hand and placed my fingertips lightly on the image of the person looking back at me—the vulnerability in his eyes revealed how very lost he was. The person who looked back at me, my very own reflection, had absolutely no direction in his life. None whatsoever.
Mia Kerick is the mother of four exceptional children—all named after saints—and five non-pedigreed cats—all named after the next best thing to saints, Boston Red Sox players. Her husband of twenty years has been told by many that he has the patience of Job, but don’t ask Mia about that, as it is a sensitive subject.
Mia focuses her stories on the emotional growth of troubled men and their relationships, and she believes that sex has a place in a love story, but not until it is firmly established as a love story. As a teen, Mia filled spiral-bound notebooks with romantic tales of tortured heroes (most of whom happened to strongly resemble lead vocalists of 1980s big-hair bands) and stuffed them under her mattress for safekeeping. She is thankful to Dreamspinner Press for providing her with an alternate place to stash her stories.
Mia is proud of her involvement with the Human Rights Campaign and cheers for each and every victory made in the name of marital equality. Her only major regret: never having taken typing or computer class in school, destining her to a life consumed with two-fingered pecking and constant prayer to the Gods of Technology.
My themes I always write about:
Sweetness. Unconventional love, tortured/damaged heroes- only love can save them.
Author Links:
https://www.facebook.com/mia.kerick
http://www.amazon.com/Mia-Kerick/e/B009KSTG9E/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1389575652&sr=1-1
Rafflecopter Giveaway: http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/91bbb15/
You don’t want to miss Michael Bowler in MIA’s GUEST ROOM
A Review That Stunned Me
Never underestimate the power of giving kids a chance.
Children of the Knight by Michael J. Bowler
Interview with Author Jay Jordan Hawke
I’m doing something a little different with this post – I’m actually interviewing a fellow author! I came across Jay Jordan Hawke several years ago through his self-published novel, A Scout is Brave. I enjoyed the book very much and we became Facebook friends over time. When he told me he had written a new book, I recommended the publisher of my novel, Children of the Knight, and they accepted his new story without hesitation. Pukawiss the Outcast is a standalone prequel to A Scout is Brave and a wonderful, magical story that I loved. So I decided to find out more about this book and the background of the man who wrote it. So here’s the interview (my first one and no, it doesn’t have fancy formatting so please don’t bag on me for that. Ha!)
MJB: Tell us about your new book? What’s it about and why did you write it?
I wrote it as a stand-alone prequel to my first novel, A Scout is Brave. I created the character of Joshua for that novel, and I liked him so much I wanted to explore his character further. I wanted to show the readers the world Joshua came from, and what shaped him as a person. In short, I wanted to immerse him in reservation life. I also wanted to write it because I attend powwows on nearby reservations, and it occurred to me a few years ago that no one has ever done anything about powwows. We have all these sports movies about the underdog rising up and winning in the end, wouldn’t it be cool to explore that theme in a competition powwow? So I decided to take Joshua from A Scout is Brave and explore his training as he learns how to Fancy Dance, and at the same time learns about who he is. Finally, I wanted to explore the contrasting views of gay people prevalent in many traditional societies with mainstream Christianity. People don’t know that many cultures not only tolerated gay people, but openly celebrated them.
MJB: I’ve been to some powwows out here in California and they are spectacular. I love Native American traditions and thoroughly enjoyed that aspect of your book. So, what makes you angry?
People who don’t believe in equal rights. People who think that their religious perspective should be the law of the land. Bullying angers me. Basically, injustice angers me. Oh, and stupid drivers who keep cutting me off on the way home from work. That really gets me mad!
MJB: I’m right with you on all counts. Personally, I think most bad drivers are just bullies with cars. So, how important do you think villains are in a story?
I think some kind of villain is necessary if you want to keep the reader’s attention. Stories are more interesting if the main character has someone to fight against. I try to write really memorable villains in my stories. In my first novel, A Scout is Brave, Levi was the villain, and I wrote him to be the perfect embodiment of a bully. I’m a little more subtle in Pukawiss the Outcast, because the book has a very different tone. But it’s clear, by the end, who the villain is. I should point out that the villain doesn’t necessarily have to be another person. It could be an inner struggle against your inner demons, so to speak. Those stories can be just as compelling. And often villains are simply an embodiment of those inner struggles anyway.
MJB: Are any of your characters in Pukawiss based on real people you have known, especially Joshua and Gentle Eagle? Can you tell us a little about the real people or, if these are wholly made up, what inspired you to write them as they are?
Joshua has some of my characteristics, but mostly he’s my invention. I’ve never known anyone like him before. I originally created him to correct some of my own weaknesses. He embodies courage and self-confidence, he’s athletic, and he quickly adapts to new and unusual situations – no matter how terrible or terrifying. He has some of my qualities, but mostly I created in him the person I wish I was more like. Gentle Eagle is his kind-hearted Grandfather, who also happens to be really cool. There is a bit of my own grandfather in him, although my grandfather didn’t have mad guitar skills. The villains are conglomerate characters of people I have actually known – from cold-hearted preachers, to simple-minded bigots, to high school bullies — I unfortunately have had too much contact with them.
MJB: I agree that Joshua is a delightful, inspiring, and immensely likable protagonist, the kind of kid we readers want to see succeed. It’s sad you have had run-ins with so many rotten people in your life. I especially noted in both your books the negativity of the Christian characters. They are extremist and bigoted, not in any way reflecting the values modeled by Jesus Christ, and thus give the impression (at least to Joshua in the book) that all Christians are like them. Are these the only kinds of Christians you have met in your life, or do you know any who actually live the faith according to the Christ-model? If you do know any who truly live “love thy neighbor,” was there a specific reason for focusing on the extreme haters?
I think I promote a very positive message of God in my book, unless you have a limited understanding of God. God is not Christian, in my opinion. He transcends dogma, and he especially transcends human hatred and bigotry. In that respect, Christianity certainly doesn’t measure up in my novels. But let’s face it, if Christians interpreted the Christian message the way you do, then the past 2,000 years would have been very different, and my Ojibwe protagonist wouldn’t be living on a reservation where they are trying to preserve what’s left of Ojibwe culture. My Christian characters are not extremists or out of place for the Midwest, especially in the small rural community where Joshua is from – they are mainstream. In short, yes, those are pretty much the only kind of Christians I’ve encountered—from the small conservative Christian farm town in which I grew up, to the conservative Christian college I went to, to the conservative school in which I currently work. If anything, I give my Christian characters more humanity that the people I actually knew deserve. Currently, I can’t even tell people around here that I’m a published author, because I’d be fired in a second by the conservative Christian administration that always talks about God’s love and family values. Imagine being a published author and not being able to tell anyone? And it’s not just bigotry toward gay people. Religious differences are highly suspect as well. Having said all that, I’m deeply religious, or spiritual, whatever word you want to use. And I try to demonstrate a love for the spiritual in my novels. You can’t read my novels for very long without picking up on that. Christians have taught gay people that God hates them for thousands of years, causing many gay people to turn away from that message. The greatest crime Christians have committed is taking God away from gay people. I’m trying to give him back. It may not be the Christian God though. But it’s a much friendlier one.
MJB: I guess growing up in California is way different. I grew up Catholic and even as a child when the dogma was much more rigid, never once did I hear priests or nuns or other Catholics or my parents speak ill of gays or minorities or even other religions. So growing up I accepted everyone at face value, and still do. For me, that’s the Jesus I came to know and accept. Sadly, as with all religions, over the centuries people have put in their own prejudices and agendas and corrupted the original message. Kids should know the beauty of all religious faiths, including Native traditions, which I personally admire. There’ve been far too many people dragging the Creator’s name through the mud, and those of us who understand that must fight to change it. Moving on, Pukawiss takes place in 1998. Are the Ojibwe youth of today, like Mokwa in your story, as accepting of gay, or two-spirit, youth as he was in the book? What about other tribes? On modern reservations, are gay youth treated with respect like in the old days when two-spirits were considered touched by God?
It really depends on which reservation. The one I based the book on is a real place, although it is not mentioned by name. The very first gay-positive person I ever met lived on that reservation. Her name was Linda, and she was part Lakota, who lived with an Ojibwa man on the Rez. I also met a Midewin on the Rez, who rejected the judgmental attitudes of Christianity with respect to gay people. It was such a shocking contrast to the world in which I grew up. Having said that, homophobia is also still a very sad reality on many reservations that have succumbed to over a century of missionary attempts to suppress the two-spirit tradition.
MJB: Without giving too much away, I loved how you helped Joshua accept and love himself by having him learn about the outcast, Pukawiss. That was very affirming. I love dreams in books, and often use them in my own. Prophetic dreams are a big part of your story because they are a big part of Native tradition. Have you ever had a dream that turned out to be prophetic, even in a small way? Do modern Indians still treat their dreams as messages and act on them accordingly?
My story definitely has a lot of supernatural elements in it, as does its sequel. Since the book immerses the readers in Ojibwe life on the reservation, I felt I couldn’t do justice to the story without demonstrating how pervasive the supernatural, the mystical, whatever you want to call it, is on the reservation. Traditionally, it would have been normal for Joshua to be both a two-spirit and a powerful dreamer. The two went together. Dreams were considered messages from the spirits, and gay people were especially adept at listening to and interpreting them. Joshua’s two-spirit status would likely have been revealed to him in a dream in earlier times. And yes, part of that is still there on the Rez today. The power of dreams is especially prevalent and is a central element in the story. The lead character, Joshua, discovers that through dreams, he can peer into the future and capture brief, often puzzling, fragments of what is to come. I believe there is a larger reality beyond the one we know about – and that one can access it through dreams. I have had many experiences with dreams of my own – both fascinating and terrifying. A lot of the stuff involving Joshua’s dream reality, especially in the sequel to Pukawiss, were dreams I’ve actually experienced. If the storms seem vivid and real, it’s because I was describing what I’ve known. My name, Jay Jordan Hawke, by the way, was given to me in a dream. I’m not kidding about that.
MJB: That’s awesome about your name! How cool is that? Wow. So tell me, do many modern Ojibwe still follow the old ways as Gentle Eagle does in this book (i.e. do they still have naming ceremonies, for example?)
Absolutely! A lot of what I described in the book comes from things I’ve experienced on the Rez. Ritual and ceremony are not for special occasions, they are practically an every day occurrence. And it all comes without the hateful dogma that so characterizes the churches I’ve been to. It’s pure God, without all the hate.
MJB: It would be a powerful experience, for me, at least, to witness some of those ceremonies. We tend to think we know everything with our technology and science, but there’s so much we can learn from the old ways if we’re willing. I love the naming ceremony and the whole concept behind it. Wouldn’t it be cool if we could all be given names that befit our nature? Okay, I’m rambling. Ha! Next question: if you could have a dinner party and invite anyone dead or alive, who would you ask?
I tend to side with the underdogs of history, the people who lost. In that spirit, I would love to have dinner with Tecumseh. Tecumseh was a Shawnee leader, who managed to unite the tribes of the Midwest to defend it from the expansion of the Americans onto their lands. He even allied with the English, who he fought with during the War of 1812. Tecumseh also stands out as someone who transcended his time. He abhorred torture of prisoners, for example, and would order his followers not to harm white captives. You got to respect someone like that. Besides that, maybe Alexander the Great if only because he could give Tecumseh some really good battle strategies that may help him when he returns to his own time. Oh, and Harry Styles. Tecumseh, Alexander the Great, and Harry Styles – what a dinner that would be.
MJB: Ha! Yes, those three together would be the YouTube download of the century. Funny you mention Harry Styles because he has a recurring Twitter cameo in my Children of the Knight sequel tweeting messages of support to my main character who is being harassed by the media. And then he has an actual cameo in the third book. Not sure he’ll make it into the final release versions, but he seems like a good guy who doesn’t let any of the media nastiness get to him. Okay, lastly and most importantly, is there a message in your novel that you want readers to grasp?
I would like my readers to understand that the stigma against homosexuality is the only thing that is not natural. It is also not universal. Pukawiss the Outcast celebrates a very common Native American tradition that venerates gay people. It may seem like the whole world, and all of history, is against you. But that simply is not true. Imagine living in a world where as a gay person you are considered something extra special—that you are in fact touched by God. That’s a radically different world from the one most gay teens grow up in today. I want people to see what that is like through the eyes of my teen protagonist.
MJB: Thank you, Jay, for a fascinating and very honest interview. Personally, I hope you meet some followers of Jesus, as I have, who actually embody the faith, and people in general who are not so narrow-minded period! Sadly, politics is all polarized, too, because both the left and the right are convinced all of life’s answers come from a single playbook when most of us live our lives in the middle. Human nature is far too complex for any one-size-fits-all dogma. What we need in this country, and this world, is balance, something the Native traditions extolled. Unfortunately “balance” seems to be a dirty word in the 21st Century. Take care, Jay, and please, give us more Joshua stories!
You can purchase Pukawiss the Outcast from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or the publisher, Harmony Ink Press. It’s a great read!
http://www.amazon.com/Pukawiss-The-Outcast-Jordan-Hawke/dp/1627986464/ref=pd_rhf_gw_p_d_1
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