Michael J. Bowler

The Writings of Michael J. Bowler

A Heart-Pounding Tale That Centers on the Ideas of Fate, Decency, and Humanity

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The title of this post is taken from an Advanced Reader Copy (ARC) review from Red City Review of my forthcoming book, I KNOW WHEN YOU’RE GOING TO DIE, now available as a .99 cent pre-order on Amazon. This book releases February 25, 2020, and the .99 cent eBook price will remain in place from now through the first week of release, so grab it while the grabbing is good. LOL The novel will also be available in paperback and audiobook on release day. The pre-order link is at the end of this post.

Seriously, I’m super excited about this new book, and February seems like soooo far away, but I want ample time to get ARCs out to review sites and bloggers. I’m also open to Bookstagrammers who would read and post about the book.  All I ask is that early readers consider posting an Amazon review on release day, and/or on Goodreads or their blogs anytime between now and February 25th.

This book has gone through many revisions and edits and beta readers, including two awesome teen readers at LitPick.com who gave me absolutely stellar suggestions for making the story and characters stronger. I’m also grateful to an outstanding author, Huston Piner, for providing terrific and insightful feedback, and to my tireless editor, Loretta Sylvestre, who walked me through more drafts than I can remember.  

More than a whodunit, I Know When You’re Going To Die is a whowilldoit because the tale hinges on preventing a murder that hasn’t happened yet. It’s a mystery and a suspenseful thriller, but for those who may be squeamish about blood, it’s not at all gory. The characters are engaging and the plot is page-turning fun. The cover art by the amazing Streetlight Graphics perfectly captures an image that’s at the heart of the mystery.

For inquiries about reading and reviewing an ARC, feel free to contact me at my website (www.michaeljbowler.com) or through Goodreads (Michael J. Bowler). The blurb is below and underneath that, I’m reposting the entire Five-Star Red City Review because that writer champions this book more passionately than I ever could.

Thanks for checking out my work!

Blurb:

Leonardo Cantrell is a painfully shy sixteen-year-old who cannot look people in the eye. One night while he’s volunteering at a homeless shelter, an old man forces eye contact and gives Leo the power to see Death.

His best, and only, friend—J.C. Rivera—thinks this new power is cool until Leo accidentally looks into J.C.’s eyes and “sees” his murder, a murder that will occur in less than two weeks. Stunned and shaken, the two boys sift through clues in Leo’s “vision” in a desperate effort to find the killer and stop him before he can strike.

Aided by feisty new-girl-at-school, Laura, the boys uncover evidence suggesting the identity of the murderer. However, their plan to trap the would-be killer goes horribly awry and reveals a truth that could kill them all.

Review:

I Know When You’re Going to Die

by Michael J. Bowler

The concepts of predestination, of being able to see and affect the future, of having a unique glimpse into the workings of life and death, all pervade the narrative of I Know When You’re Going to Die by Michael J. Bowler. The novel opens on a young man, Leo Cantrell, who is painfully introverted and reserved, serving his local LA homeless population at a mission shelter. He is only sixteen, but he already possesses wisdom, kindness, and compassion beyond his years. He frequents the homeless shelter with such regularity that he knows everyone, and everyone knows him. There’s one man in particular, though, who catches his eye one fateful day. He stares deeply into his soul, and the man endows him with a remarkable gift: the ability to see exactly when and how others will die when he looks into their eyes. The man tells him, “I gave you a great gift, boy. Or maybe a curse.” And for the remainder of the novel, Leo explores whether his newfound ability truly is a gift or a horrible curse. His entire world turns upside down when he’s forced to look into his best friend J.C.’s eyes, and he sees his brutal murder only two weeks in the future. It’s a race against the clock for them to try to figure out how to bend the rules of predestination, prevent the murder from happening, and identify the would-be killer. With the help of the new girl at their high school, Laura, J.C. and Leo attempt the nearly impossible and defy fate. Will their attempts be thwarted? Will they be able to ensnare the potential murderer? Only time will tell.

Because I Know When You’re Going to Die is written in the first-person, Leo’s perspective, the reader enjoys a deep introspective look into his psyche as he processes the implications and repercussions of the ability he didn’t ask for, but nonetheless has. It’s an intimate way to tell such a heart-pounding tale that centers on the ideas of fate, decency, and humanity. Leo grapples with what is right, with what it means to have the power to look into someone’s eyes and see their death. He struggles with whether or not to warn them. Would he want to know, were he in someone else’s shoes? When it comes to his closest friend in the world, though, the choice is clear, and that choice informs and drives the remainder of the narrative into complex and interesting places heretofore unimagined by other novels of the same genre. Death is an inevitability, but this coming-of-age YA novel explores the very real lengths to which we will go to preserve love, life, and all that is precious within those concepts. Beyond the scope of the narrative, the language of I Know When You’re Going to Die captivates and enthralls the reader to the very end. It’s the kind of literary style that gets wonderfully stuck in your head and entreats you to keep reading well past the time you told yourself you would stop.

FREE READ

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My first novel, A BOY AND HIS DRAGON, has been revised and rewritten and is unspooling chapter by chapter over at Wattpad. I had previously published this story on Amazon to test the waters, but it’s no longer available for purchase and can only be found on Wattpad. It’s suitable for all ages.

This book was written in the 1980s, well before the fantasy resurgence that culminated with Harry Potter, and also saw endless dragon-related stories hitting the bookshelves. I wanted to try a somewhat realistic approach to a dragon story, so I took my childhood—at least my seventh and eighth-grade years—and inserted a dragon. I wondered how life might progress for that thirteen-year-old boy living in suburban Northern California in the year 1970 as he juggled daily life while also caring for, and hiding, a rapidly growing dragon, without the use of the internet or any of the technology we have today that would have made such a task easier. Somehow, Bradley Wallace Murphy must figure out solutions to every dilemma that crosses his path without the use of Google, which means the story takes longer to unfold, but hopefully, it plays out in a believable fashion.

Of course, this is more than just a boy and his dragon story and the book is intended as the first of a trilogy that postulates a return of magic into our modern world (at least, the modern world of the ’70s and ’80s.) It’s a nostalgic tale for anyone who remembers that time, and for younger readers who can’t imagine life without cell phones and social media, it will be an eye-opening depiction of a different kind of childhood.

Here’s a blurb for the book. I really hope you go on Wattpad and check it out. I’m adding in visuals that tie directly into each chapter and are relevant to the storyline. If you do read this book at the link below, please comment along the way. Us authors only improve if we have constructive feedback to work from.

Thanks for checking out this free read. Enjoy!

Bradley Wallace Murphy just turned thirteen, and he’s not happy about it. He doesn’t fit in at school, he’s no good at sports, a bully torments him, he’s a disappointment to his parents, and his only “friends” are fictional characters on a TV show called Dark Shadows. He’s on the verge of manhood, but wants no part of that, either.

Then he finds the egg and everything changes.

From this egg hatches Whilly, a supposedly mythical dragon that bonds with him emotionally and spiritually. The sudden responsibility of hiding, feeding, and caring for a rapidly growing dragon in a small California city in 1970 forces Bradley Wallace to grow up whether he wants to or not. 

Through their adventures together, boy and dragon learn the true nature of their symbiosis and Bradley Wallace learns that he is not just a misfit kid.

He’s dangerous. More dangerous than anyone in history. So dangerous that he’ll be killed if the truth comes out. The boy who doesn’t want to grow up comes to realize that it might be better for the world if he didn’t.

https://www.wattpad.com/story/193384793-a-boy-and-his-dragon

Youth Are The Road To Positive Change

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“Lance is an epic hero.” So said a reviewer when the first editions of my Lance Chronicles appeared under the “Children of the Knight” moniker. Now, it’s 2018 and the series has been revamped, revised, and re-released. Was I able to substantially improve these books? I sincerely hope so. Is Lance still an epic hero? That’s up to readers to decide. But I can say that Lance’s coming-of-age journey from boy to young man is pretty epic stuff in many ways, especially since this tenacious teen, aided by his adoptive family and friends, fundamentally changes the United States of America. Considering how many people today—especially young people—would like to see America’s flaws put right, I suppose Lance’s chronicles toward that end are indeed epic. But I don’t think his goals or methods are impossible, not if enough Americans stop arguing and work together. I do believe, however, that it’s the youth who must lead this charge for change because older people tend to accept the status quo all too readily.

The Lance Chronicles features a teen protagonist, but is it just for teens? Not at all. The ideas, the challenges presented, the painful truths revealed, and the solutions to some of our most fundamental issues as a country are relevant to all ages. These aren’t children’s books, but anyone in high school and above should find much to like, to hate, to make them angry, to make them cheer, maybe make them laugh or cry. More importantly, these books should provide food for thought, because how America treats her children is problematic at best and we can do so much better.

There is currently a movement afoot to inspire more young people to become involved in the running of this country. Hashtags like #neveragain and #roadtochange have become popular for sharing information and events. Both of these hashtags, in addition to one of my favorites – #wecandobetter – sum up The Lance Chronicles. #NeverAgain has been applied to school shootings, but there are so many ills in this country to which that hashtag should be attached: #neveragain should children be abused by adults; #neveragain should kids be thrown out of school for being different; #neveragain should LGBT kids be bullied in school or kicked to the curb by heartless parents; #neveragain should children be considered adults when they do something wrong, but not when they do something right; #neveragain should our justice system be about winning instead of about justice; #neveragain should our school system be one size fits all when every kid is a unique individual and needs to remain so; #neveragain should children be considered the property of adults or government. These are but a few of the #neveragain issues tackled in The Lance Chronicles.

What about #RoadToChange? Well, the entire series is about change, which never comes by throwing the baby out with the bath water. Yes, the water of America—compared to the ideals that inspired her creation—has become dirty. Of course, it has. America and all her institutions are run by people and people are inherently self-centered. Therefore, our country and institutions have grown corrupt over time. But the baby – The Constitution – is fine. Only the water surrounding it is dirty. That water needs to be cleaned, but the baby preserved. Our democratic republic will function properly as long as the citizenry has enough courage and adaptability to make it so. In The Lance Chronicles, Lance and the other youth galvanize communities to take charge of themselves, not to wait for the government to solve their problems. We, the people, can solve most problems at the local level. We don’t need bigger and bigger government micromanaging our lives, even though many Americans seem to favor that model. Just like big business and big school districts, big government is more corrupt and more unorganized because that’s the nature of human beings. Bigger isn’t better.

The prevailing hashtag for The Lance Chronicles should be #WeOverMe, one coined by Lance to remind us that every choice we, as individuals, make has repercussions within the larger community and even the world. If each of us pauses long enough to consider a pending choice in light of how it might affect others, the world would be a very different place. Lance uses this motto and other common sense approaches to advance the cause of real, positive change that works within the existing American system to clean that bathwater and make the country better. At least, Lance and company believe they’re making it better. Readers may disagree and that’s all good. Healthy debate is what brings about healthy change. Nastiness and uninformed opinions merely promote the status quo. So yes, #WeCanDoBetter in this country. We can make major improvements, especially if the young people unite via social media as they do in these books and demand those improvements. Youth hold real power to “force” compliance from adults, especially in regards to areas that prominently affect them, like our fatally flawed school system.

One adult reviewer objected to the civil disobedience displayed by the youth, but is that so wrong, for young people to demand their voices be heard? Of course not! Yes, it’s wrong for adults to brainwash impressionable kids to mimic talking points from either the right or the left. As Lance points out when he addresses a joint session of Congress, “Most of us live life in the middle.” And that’s true. Youth need to learn how to think, not what to think, another prevalent theme in these books. If kids are taught how to think and how to analyze, they can come to their own conclusions about what might be the best solution to a given problem. If they are simply taught to parrot their parents or teachers or professors, how will they ever learn to think on their own and clean up that dirty bathwater left by previous generations?

When my series first appeared, someone posted this comment, “This looks like a sh—ty idea,” but that person never bothered to read any of the books to determine if the idea worked or not. An actual reader began his review like this (I’m paraphrasing because his blog has been taken down and the review with it, sadly): ‘I began Children of the Knight thinking this will never work, it will never work, and six hours later I closed the book sobbing, realizing that I’d read one of the best young adult books out there’.

There are readers who never found the central premise credible, and that’s okay too. I’m fine with readers disliking my books. Authors who think they can please everyone are fooling themselves. But, at least, people need to read the books they are criticizing before engaging in a healthy debate about what they didn’t like or disagreed with. Again, only through the give-and-take of ideas can positive change occur. There is no single playbook that has all the answers, despite so many people on the left and the right spouting the same talking points as though such a playbook exists.

Yes, there is a major fantasy element in this series that readers must accept in order to enjoy it. In their own small way, The Lance Chronicles are a continuation of The Once and Future King by T.H. White or Le Morte d’Arthur by Mallory. King Arthur promised to return from Avalon one day and my series has him do just that. In the legends, Arthur was a master at uniting warring tribes of Britain under his mantra of “might for right.” So why can’t this same man unite warring gangs in Los Angeles under that mantra? And why can’t he role model leadership for Lance so the boy can go forward to lead a youth revolution for children’s rights? Any book with fantasy elements requires a suspension of disbelief, but the fantasy elements in my series are few and far between next to the real issues depicted, including America’s dismal treatment of Native Americans, which is dealt with in books four and five.

So I urge youth to read these books and debate the issues among themselves. Even though the books are already in release, I have PDF copies that are free to readers who agree to share their thoughts once they have finished reading. Those thoughts can be shared on Amazon, Goodreads, social media, Reddit, or wherever. My goal is to spark debate, for readers to weigh in on the issues and proposed solutions. I will say that some of what Lance and the other youth demand at the beginning of the series changes as the law of unintended consequences kicks in and real life rears its ugly head. So reading the entire series—which is actually one long book broken into five parts—is necessary to fully understand how Lance’s youth revolution creates real, permanent change. Is that change for the better? That’s for individual readers to decide.

https://www.amazon.com/Children-Knight-Lance-Chronicles-Book-ebook-dp-B07GJTGR8K/dp/B07GJTGR8K/ref=mt_kindle?_encoding=UTF8&me=&qid=1537839085

Middle Grade Fiction: Increasingly Inappropriate?

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Is this scene at all inappropriate? An eleven-year-old boy and an eleven-year-old girl feel awkward after the girl compliments the boy, and they don’t know what to say as they look at each other with uncertainty. The boy’s eleven-year-old friend says, “Get a room.” As everyone knows, “Get a room” is a euphemism for “go make out or have sex” in private.

 

This exchange occurs in a very popular middle grade book I bought for my then-ten-year-old Little Brother mentee. As any responsible parent or mentor should, I read the book first. When I got to that line, I chose not to give it to my mentee.

 

This book has rave reviews from parents on Amazon. If those parents actually read the book and think eleven-year-olds having sex or even hinting at such behavior or joking about it is cute, there’s something wrong with those parents. Sadly, pushing the envelope in middle grade fiction is happening, just as it did long ago when teen lit was christened “Young Adult” (even though young adulthood, according to psychologists, and the law, ranges from age eighteen to twenty-five.) Thirteen years olds are young adults? According to the book industry they are. In reality, they are far from young adulthood. These are middle school kids, still adolescents, still children. Not young adults. Not even close. Even at eighteen, legal adults are still teens. But pushing kids to leapfrog over necessary developmental stages seems to be the current intent of all media, including books.

 

On Amazon, a middle grade book featuring twelve or thirteen year olds is listed as suitable for eight-year-olds. Why? To make more money for the publisher and Amazon. Anyone who’s ever raised children or taught them knows that a twelve-year-old is way ahead of an eight-year-old on the developmental scale, and no conscientious parents would allow their eight-year-old to pal around with twelve or thirteen-year-olds. So why is it suitable for eight year olds to read books aimed at twelve and thirteen-year-olds? It isn’t.

 

The excuse has been that children are demanding books about kids older than themselves. Not true. Children are curious about everything. If you put age-inappropriate material in front of them, they will watch it or read it, and then their brains will have been rewired so that they want more inappropriate stuff. That’s how our brains work, and it’s the essence of addiction. It’s bad enough that Hollywood seems bound and determined to rob children of their innocence, but the book industry used to take its job more seriously. Way too many TV shows aimed at children depict ten, eleven, twelve-year-olds on the prowl for a boyfriend or girlfriend, and the on-screen kids lament that they’re not in a relationship. Children haven’t changed. What they’re exposed to has. Especially social media. No child under high school age should have a smartphone, but millions do.

 

I often see what middle school kids post on social media, and it’s not good. A ten-year-old once told me he wanted a girlfriend. I asked why, and he didn’t know. But I know. That boy already has a smartphone and is on social media, where the message is loud and clear – if you’re not in a relationship, you’re a worthless failure and have no value in your own right, no matter your age.

 

I know twelve-year-olds with babies. This is a bad situation, for them and the babies they produce. Encouraging children and teens to have sex—even in wink, wink, nudge, nudge ways—is beyond disturbing, and I can’t understand this agenda to adultify children at younger and younger ages. It makes no sense. How often do you see boys and girls as young as eight or nine referred to as young men or young women in the news or on social media? Attune yourself to that notion and you’ll see it everywhere. Labelling children “young adults” defies all common sense and rationality. And it damages the children more than anyone else.

 

Check out the image I used to lead off this post. It’s a real ad for a child’s Peter Pan costume that purports to make your little boy look “sexy.” Clothes for little girls are already disturbing enough, but now little boys are being advertised as “sexy?” That’s sickening! If you tell children they are young adults, and allow them to access age-inappropriate media that calls them young adults, they are going to think they can engage in adult activities, like sex or drinking alcohol, to name two. And they will most certainly post inappropriate photos on social media so they can look “sexy” like the young Peter Pan above, except they are more likely to be wearing less clothing. Is there anyone out there who thinks this is a healthy trend?

 

An acclaimed middle grade book is called Wonder. In most ways, this is a terrific book with positive messages about acceptance. However, in this story, ten-year-olds are depicted as partying like teens, pairing up in boy-girl romantic relationships, and dating. And the worst part? These behaviors are presented as normative. Only one parent in the entire book tells her son he’s too young to date. At ten, he’s too young to date? Ya think? Of course, he is!

 

The fact that editors and publishers allow such messages to be sent to children brings me back to the agenda question. What is the agenda, and who stands to gain by it? I know who stands to lose – the children. They are sent so many mixed messages by media and society these days, it’s no wonder the number of adolescent mental health cases in America has skyrocketed in recent years. https://www.sovteens.com/mental-health/mental-illness-increasing-among-adolescents/

 

As authors, I believe it is our responsibility to present developmentally appropriate stories for children and teens. Books should be a more conscientious form of entertainment than Hollywood and social media, which seek to suck children into the addiction trap. Middle grade fiction should be for eleven, twelve, and thirteen year olds only, since they are middle schoolers, and the publishing industry needs to stop telling Amazon and other sites to list them as suitable for eight-year-olds. In addition, books with thirteen-year-olds can certainly involve skittishness on the part of boys and girls with each other, because that is reality, but nothing more is needed. Just as violence is kept at bay in middle grade fiction, romance/sex should be even more so.

 

As parents, we have so much to do without having to police the books our kids read like we police the media they pursue. But for the sake of children going through their natural developmental stages, we must be vigilant, and at least skim through any books our preteens want to read. At the very least, check the book out on LitPick.com, an online review site wherein teens and children review books aimed at their age group. They rate the books and provide content warnings, under the supervision of adults – https://litpick.com/. Commonsensemedia.org also has content ratings for children and teen books that are well-articulated, written by both parents and kids – https://www.commonsensemedia.org/. Also, if a book on Amazon is rated for age eight to twelve, it’s important to read the “What’s Inside” preview and the reviews. Check the negative reviews and look for clues to inappropriate content.

 

Childhood is already too short. If we allow Hollywood, social media, and now books to steal it away, that’s a crime of insurmountable proportions. Unplugging our kids from media, and making sure they have good books with positive, age-appropriate themes and messages, is an essential step toward molding them into healthy teens and decent adults.

Making Memes is Fun!

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I thought I’d devote a post to the fun of meme-making. I LOVE making memes to promote my books or precepts I live by. I use Photoshop to create my memes and feel I’ve gotten better over time at creating images that look reasonably professional. However, I’m not anywhere near a professional and that is obvious, but I have fun making them. Feel free to share any that you like, but please give me the credit.  I’ll go in the order of book release dates, even though I might have created some  memes after a book came out. You can learn more about all these books here on my website.

A MATTER OF TIME was my second book that mashed up several genres and time periods. This meme presents my original cover art from 2012 and one by a professional artist named Howard David Johnson created in 2016. The difference is, well, obvious. LOL

 

The CHILDREN OF THE KNIGHT series, published throughout 2013-2014, is more relevant now than when it came out, dealing with numerous social justice issues facing America today, especially those that impact marginalized children and teens. The target audience is high school youth and adults due to mature language and themes.

An ad I created for YA Books Central.

A poster I used for promotion that incorporates some of the final cover elements.

A meme that incorporates one of the primary themes.

An alternate take on possible cover art that I used to promote the second book. It teases a major revelation from the first chapter.

This meme was created by the assistant to a fellow author who was helping me promote this book.

Michael is a teen teetering on the edge of madness who leads Lance down a path toward imminent self-destruction.

This one is pretty self-explanatory, especially for readers of the books. Lance becomes a beloved figure worldwide who is invited to both the White House and Congress.

Again, this scene explains itself. If you want to learn more about the Children’s Bill of Rights, you’ll have to read the books.

Lance graduates high school. I made this to celebrate the graduation of a boy who loved the Children of the Knight series and admired Lance as a character. I posted this pic on his FB wall along with my congratulations.

I made this to promote the series. I even have a poster of it just in case I have the opportunity to attend an author event.

This is a Dream Cast poster I created for a CHILDREN OF THE KNIGHT blog tour in 2013. Obviously, the cast would change if the book were to be filmed now, but I think these actors would have been stellar.

SPINNER is a teen horror thriller that some reviewers have compared to Stephen King’s “It,” which I find very flattering. This book features teen protagonists who have disabilities and modeled on kids I taught for many years in my career as a high school teacher. I went overboard on the memes for this one. LOL Here are some that I used to promote this 2015 release. Enjoy!

I was asked to create a Spinner Dream Cast presentation for a YA Author Scavenger Hunt last fall. This is the result.

 

WARRIOR KIDS: A TALE OF NEW CAMELOT is my last published book and is a standalone sequel to the Children of the Knight Series aimed at Middle Grade and High School readers. It deals with the often contentious issue of climate change and can be safely used in school classrooms to teach kids about environmental concerns. There are extension activities at the back and, unlike the other Children of the Knight books, the language isn’t “street.” It does, however, depict how racism, the venal pursuit of fame, and “group think” prevent real progress toward fixing all human dilemmas. Here are the memes I’ve used to promote this book. BTW, for teachers, the book is available for free at https://sharemylesson.com/teaching-resource/middle-grade-novel-kids-vs-climate-change-275506.

This is the logo I created that the kids in the book wear on their shirts and beanies.

Lastly, here are some random memes I made that deal with important precepts, themes I write about, or what I think is important for people to consider.

So these are most of the memes I’ve created, but there are some I know I’ve forgotten because I’ve made so many. LOL Feel free to comment on any that you like or don’t like and, as I said before, feel free to share (but please give me credit. Thanks.) I hope you’ve enjoyed these images and the messages they contain as much as I enjoyed creating them. Meme-making rocks! Don’t you want to rush right to your computer and start meming? I do. Onward and upward!

All-Star Dream Cast for SPINNER

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As part of the YA Scavenger Hunt, I was asked to create a Dream Cast if my book, Spinner, was made into a film. Since the Hunt is over, I can share this on my own blog along with an “interview” written for the fictional Mark Twain High School newspaper created to support the initial release of the book. The interview introduces the main protagonists and reveals the ignorance special ed kids face on a daily basis. Feel free to comment on either the Dream Cast or the interview, especially if you have read the book or know kids we label “special ed.” Labels belong on food products, not people.  I think all of us want to be seen as ourselves with unique qualities and abilities, but this country has an obsession with labels. Spinner is a horror thriller aimed at teens and adults who like a page-turning story featuring protagonists seldom seen as heroic because they have been slapped with a label that narrowly defines them. Check out the book on Amazon or Barnes and Noble and meet some unforgettable characters.

 

44491843 - dead tree in a full moon night

A Revealing Interview

by Karina Martinez for

The Daily Cougar

 

It is a somber day as I approached the lunch table. This group of SPED students (Special Education) has experienced a tragic loss – their teacher was killed last night, run down by a truck outside her apartment. We’ve never had such a tragedy at Mark Twain High. Ms. Lorna Ashley had been teaching Special Education for four years and her class was always self-contained. That means the students were with her the whole day, for every class. Her current group consists of six male students, all gathered around the most beat-up of the lunch tables not far from their classroom. I have my faithful photographer with me – Jasmine Rodriguez – and we both try to look professional as we stop at their table. These kids have a reputation around campus for being weird and usually nobody ever goes near them. One of the boys is in a wheelchair, but the others look normal. You’d never know they were Special Ed.

I introduce Jasmine and myself. The boys stare at us like we’re from Mars or something. The white haired boy, Alex, the one in the wheelchair, has these amazing blue eyes that almost make me forget what I was there for. I explain that I write for the school paper and we’re doing a story on Ms. Ashley’s death.

“Why?” That comes from the light-skinned black kid named Java. He glowers and looks suspiciously at the camera Jasmine holds.

“Well, we’ve never had anything like this happen before,” I explain, “and it’s big news when a teacher gets killed.”

Israel, dark hair, really handsome, blurts out, “What the hell?”

That catches me off-guard. “Well, I just mean, it’s something the school paper can’t ignore.”

Jorge, tall and thin with unkempt black hair, hands me a piece of paper with no expression on his face. It has a big red “V” scrawled on it. I exchange a nervous glance with Jasmine, who stifles a giggle, and then turn back to Jorge.

“What’s this for?”

“We’ve never had anything like this happen before,” Jorge says in a monotone voice, repeating my words to me. I confess, I’m feeling creeped out.

Roy, the skinny white kid with snakebite piercings in his lower lip brushes hair from in front of his eyes. Those eyes look sad to me. “Ms. Ashley was a great teacher. She was like a mom to us. That’s all you gotta write.”

There’s a Vietnamese kid named Cuong at the table, but he just plays with a Gameboy like we’re not even there. Alex stares at me with those blue eyes and I feel like he’s looking right through me. I shiver. He’s the one our readers most want to hear from because he’s the most disabled kid we have at Mark Twain, being in a wheelchair and all. So I focus on him.

“So, um, Alex, do you have anything to say about Ms. Ashley?”

Alex’s intense look doesn’t let up at all. His white blond hair falls across his forehead and back over his collar. His serious expression doesn’t hide his good looks. If he weren’t crippled he’d be hot enough to date.

“Like Roy said, Ms. Ashley was the best teacher I ever had,” Alex answers, his voice filled with sadness. “She never got mad at us when we couldn’t do something. She just helped us find some other way. She loved us.”

I take notes as he speaks, still feeling those deep blue eyes looking through me. “So, you guys are Special Ed, right?”

“Yeah, so?” Java says. He’s big and buff and wears one of those tight shirts like pro football players. He looks scary.

“Well, our readers don’t know much about being special ed. Are you guys like, retarded?”

I ask it innocently because that’s usually what special ed means, but Java’s face turns stormy.

“We are not retarded!” Israel shouts. Other kids milling about look over curiously. Now I feel embarrassed.

“Sorry,” I say. “It’s just, well, that’s what normal kids think about special ones.”

“We are normal,” Roy says. “For us. Right, Alex?”

Java looks ready to explode so I turn to Alex.

“Roy’s right,” Alex says, his voice tight with anger. “We don’t read or write good, but we’re the same as you.”

“Except you can’t walk?”

“The hell?” Roy blurts. He stands and towers over me. “Get outta here! You don’t know nothing!”

Alex places one hand on Roy’s arm and that calms him a little. He looks at Alex and Alex shakes his head slightly. Still angry, Roy re-seats himself.

“No, I can’t walk,” Alex replies, those eyes fixed intently on me.

I try to steer this interview into a non-threatening direction. “What’s it like, not to walk?”

“Shut up!” Israel says loudly. He can’t seem to speak in any tone other than loud. He draws more attention to me than I want.

Then Jorge says, “Shut up,” and sounds eerily like Israel. I shiver again.

“It’s okay, Izzy,” Alex says. I think he’s probably been asked that question a lot because he just sighs and looks up at me from his wheelchair. “What’s it like to walk? I never have so I don’t know.”

That answer floors me and I have no response.

“See?” Alex goes on. “Normal is different for everybody. Maybe you could print that and the kids around here might stop talking crap about us and calling me Roller Boy all the time. We’re not losers like everybody says. Roy could fix anything in this school that breaks down. And Java could kick ass on the football team ‘cept people keep calling him a dummy. He’s not. Not of us are. We’re just different.”

I’m trying to write down every word because it’s all so amazing and so unlike what I thought these kids were like. I guess I thought they were dumb because that’s what I always heard. I realize that this is the first time I ever interacted with them. Alex stops talking and I stop writing. The others are staring at me and I feel like I should say something, but don’t know what.  Then it hits me.

“Could I try out your wheelchair?”

“The hell?” Israel blurts, even louder.

Alex looks at me with open-mouthed surprise and I realize I didn’t ask the question very well. “I, uh, I just thought I could write a better story about what it’s like to be crippled if I sat in your chair and, you know, wheeled around a little.”

Roy leaps to his feet again. “Get lost. We’re not freaks and Alex ain’t crippled! He can do anything you can and more!”

Jasmine giggles beside me and I nudge her, trying to salvage this interview.

“It’s okay, Roy,” Alex says quietly. “Let her try.”

“Alex! She’s just messing with you.”

“No, I’m not, really,” I answer quickly. “I just want to feel what it would be like to sit all the time.”

Roy’s angry look makes me realize I said the wrong thing again. I’m really wishing Ms. Jacobs hadn’t given me this assignment. Alex touches Roy’s arm again in a calming way and pushes himself up and out of his wheelchair onto the bench so easily I think I gasped. His arms and upper body look pretty buff, but he moved so easily I’m shocked.

“Go ahead,” he says. “Try it out.”

I feel all of them mad-dogging me as I step forward and uncertainly sit in the chair. I try to push forward, but my feet on the ground get in my way.

“Your feet go on the footrest,” Alex says and points to it.

I look down and see where he’s pointing and place my feet there. Then I start wheeling around. It’s fun, I find myself thinking, almost like riding in a Go-Kart. Jasmine snaps some pictures of me in the chair and the SPED kids watching.

“How is it?” Jasmine asks.

Before I can stop myself, I say, “It’s fun.”

I spin around and head back toward her. Other kids standing nearby laugh and point.

“Let me try,” Jasmine says.

I hop out of the chair and she plops into it. Wheeling herself around in circles, she makes like she’s going to run into another kid standing off to the side. The kid lurches back and Jasmine laughs. All the students standing around laugh and point to Alex and his friends. I hear one of them say, “Hey, it’s Roller Girl.”

“This is so cool,” Jasmine gushes, and I catch Alex’s facial expression when she does. He looks like someone punched him. Those blue eyes look so hurt I almost feel like crying. I hurry to Jasmine.

“Give him back the chair.”

Reluctantly, she steps out of it and I wheel the chair back to Alex. He gives me a look that pierces my heart and I realize how hurtful what we just did is to him. He slides himself deftly into the chair and pulls his feet onto the footrest.

Roy steps up to me. He’s really mad. “You had your fun, now get the hell outta here and leave us alone!”

I step back as all of them stand up to mad-dog me. Even the Vietnamese kid stops playing his game to glower. I exchange a nervous glance with Jasmine, who hurriedly snaps a few more pictures.

“I, uh, well, thanks for talking to me,” I say uncertainly. “I’m, well, sorry about your teacher and all.”

Jasmine grabs my arm to pull me away. I can’t help but look into Alex’s blue eyes one last time. He looks so wounded. “I’m sorry, Alex, about the chair thing. See ya around.”

Alex doesn’t answer, so I turn to follow Jasmine away into the crowd. The other kids are still laughing.

 

Note: This is how I wrote up the article, but Ms. Jacobs decided not to run it. She felt it would embarrass Alex and his friends, and then she spent an entire period teaching us proper ways to ask difficult questions during an interview. I know I blew it, but at least I now understand that the kids we call Special Ed are just as human as I am, and I plan to treat them that way from now on.

 

https://www.amazon.com/Spinner-Michael-J-Bowler/dp/1511943084/ref=sr_1_12?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1476117182&sr=1-12&keywords=spinner

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/spinner-michael-j-bowler/1122482576?ean=9781511943086

 

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